Maternity Confusion – what’s hidden underneath the spoken words?


Aaron has been back at his grandparents in Tainan for 13 days now… and still counting.  Every time I ask him on the phone if he wants to come home, he says no.  I have not insisted that he come home.  In fact, because of the teacher’s training program on 2/21 ~ 2/24, I urged him to stay at him grandparents’.  I know he’s under great care, his grandparents have all the time in the world to tail behind him,  and the sun is never shy to shine in Tainan.   Since he would start preschool in September, I figure this is the last few months that he can have extended stay away from home.  However, I’m beginning to wonder what is going on in his little mind during his stay at his grandparents.

Today, I called and, as usual, asked him if he’s ready to come home.  He said no, as usual, but added, “if I am not home, you can do many things.”  That caught me off guard.  I do not know if he’s saying so as a reason to persuade me for him to stay longer, or if he’s saying so because he felt neglected at home and might have heard me said those words subconsciously – though, I prey to God that I have never uttered those words.   If it’s the former, then I must say that he is a pretty clever child.  But, if it’s the later, then I am worried.

I do already spend much time with him.  We have all day on Monday and Tuesday to play together.  We play on Wednesday morning, then I bring him to the Nanny’s before 2pm to get ready for my swimming class, and pick him up after dinner around 8pm.  He has his class on Thursday, then I bring him to Nanny’s for him to nap 2pm ~ 5pm, and pick him up at 5pm to go to gymnastics class.  He needs to go to Nanny’s on Friday 9am ~ 2pm, for me to hold my baby yoga class.  Throughout the whole week, I am only way from him for 14 hours… I really don’t think it’s that much.  When we are home, my attention is mostly on him.  He could be playing his blocks on the living room floor and as soon as I walk to the kitchen to turn on my computer, he comes to the back and climbs on my lap.  He could be readying (or, flipping, to be exact) his books in his room, but as soon as I walk outside his room to turn on my computer, he again comes out and climbs on my lap.  We nap together, shower together, watch TV together (taking turns between my CIS and his cartoon); we are rarely apart aside from those 14 hours.  Is he that much of a needy child?

Yes, I have been able to accomplish quite a lot in the past two weeks, but I miss him so dearly.  I tried to tell him on the phone that many of the things I do are spending time with him, such as reading to him, signing to him, watching TV with him, playing with him, going bicycling with him… not sure if the words reach him.  I sort of got the sense that he wants to come home for he said, “ok, I want to go home.”  But, right before he left the phone, he said, “mommy, let me play a little more before going home.”  So…. what is it?  What does he want? 

Dear Aaron, should you stay or should you go?  Baby I really need to know...

Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to understand his little mind.

2009/1/18, Li-Hu Elementary School Playground - 像小流氓的痞子



2009/1/18, Li-Hu Elementary School Playground -  卻也還是純真的小孩



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